Pastoral Genocide


Muxtape.
March 28, 2008, 5:44 am
Filed under: Beef, Music | Tags: , , , , , ,

Nostalgia is for pussies. Just because something was totally sweet when you were twelve doesn’t mean that anything now that you’re twenty five. I mean, when I was twelve I used to think that it would be totally awesome to have a tree house where a whole bunch of hot, naked babes were just hanging out, ready to play naked Twister on my beck and command. But maybe thats a bad example because I’m still really into naked chicks and flexibility promoting party games and I’m especially into getting broads to do things per my request. Anyway, I digress. Look, my original point was that the rear-view mirror of retrospect is too often reflected with rose colored glass. Things are better in 2008; televisions are bigger, porn is freer, and music sounds better. I’d like to stress the last point, again, for emphasis: music sounds better. I get it: that mixtape you remember making, the one were you accidentally supplanted the last thirty seconds of Bush’s “I Don’t Wanna Come Back Down” with Cracker’ s “Low,” reminds you of riding the bus home, rocking a bowl cut, and being way too cool for your moms. But its not 1994 anymore. So lets just drop the fucking cassette mix tape chatter, ya feel me? Hipsters are main culprits of this dictum. And hipsters are the lowest form of social beast. But then again, who am I to judge? Maybe I’ve been wrong the whole time. Maybe white sport jackets really are cool. Maybe the Electric Six is a good band. Maybe the “It’s the twenty first century but I’ve got a motherfucking Walkman strapped to my tapered black man jeans and I’m wearing these super sweet white PF Flyers” look is actually hottt. Actually, fuck that. I’m not wrong. Hipsters suck, electronic-based sex rock is a fucking hatchet job excuse for music, and scarves with short sleeve t-shirts is the actualized hallmark of a legitimate and resolute queef.

In the name of progress, lets talk about Muxtape. It takes what was great about mix tapes – throwing together a bunch of songs you’re stoked on – and transposes musical wonderlust with the modern convenience of digital media. It’s simple: create an account name (which subsequently becomes part of your personal URL), upload some songs from your computer onto a website, and pass out the link to your crew. The best part is that you don’t have to download either a media player or the song itself. It’s all streaming. Like I said, 2008 fucking rules. And if you’re a hipster, my advice would be to straighten out your act, keep your nose clean, and go tell your barber that you’re sick of looking like an asshole.

(1) Ghosts of Modern Man – Left a Mark (2) Seven Storey Mountain – Politician (3) Andrew Johnson Jihad – Brave as a Noun (4) The Lemonheads – Big Gay Heart (5)Ester Drang- Felicity, Darling (6) Okkervil River – Red, Live (7) Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Bring it On (8 ) Tom Waits – I Can’t Wait to Get Off Work (And See My Baby on Montgomery Avenue) (9) Black and White Children – Graveyard Earth (10) The One A.M. Radio – Calamity Jane (the David Slade) (11) The Mercury Program – Marianas (12) Unbunny – Snow Tires

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MASH UP
March 25, 2008, 4:23 am
Filed under: Literature, Music | Tags: , , , , ,

E. Hemingway – “The Gambler, the Nun, and the Radio”

vs.

This Will Destroy You – “A Three-Legged Workhorse”

 

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They Murdered Your Family, Right Before Your Eyes. What Could You Do?
March 22, 2008, 5:18 am
Filed under: Writing | Tags: , , , ,

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St. John Climacus wrote the “Ladder of Paradise” and amicably died in a hospital nestled in the shadows of Mount Sinai. I fished for cod just off the Outer Banks in a metal boat named “The Maria II” and nearly lost my mind. When St. John Climacus was sick, languishing just beyond the grasp of an all but promised heaven, the Pope brought him gifts and words from God. When I was sick, lingering tortuously in a mental disturbance that was short lived but awe inspiring, I slept fretfully in a top bunk held to the wall by steel rivets.



Vol.3 – 44:22
March 19, 2008, 5:32 am
Filed under: Music | Tags: , ,

Today, in the office building where I work, a co-worker choked on a bite of apple and died on the floor. They found her collapsed beneath her desk, blue-faced and cold. The paramedics arrived and they put her on stretcher, waited patiently for the elevator, and wheeled her out into the day and the rain. I’ve never had any specific interaction with this woman. She was just someone I saw in the hallway, on the stairs, in the lobby. I can’t think we ever exchanged anything more than brief glances. In fact, I can’t even remember a time when I said as much as hello to her. And so, her death doesn’t really impact me, be it either directly or tributarily. But still, dying seems like such an abstruse and absolute event, both spectacularly acerbic and depressingly macabre. After she was carted out, the building sort of went quiet. People shrugged their shoulders and sat in their offices, unsure, exactly, of the protocol they should follow. Something big happened, sure. But how should one recognize, rationalize, and reflect that momentum? We all tasted the levity, the thick gray cloud settling uncomfortably into the building. We paused, some, maybe, for longer than others. And then, we all sort of just went on with our days. Does that sound harsh, uncaring?

(1) The Mountain Goats – Flashing Lights (2) The Robot Ate Me – They Ate Themselves (3) Jason Anderson – Our Winter (4) The Jim Yoshi Pile Up – Thanksgiving Grey (5) Spiritualized – Lay It Down Slow (6) The Minus Story – Miles and Miles (7) Shearwater- Safeway (8 ) Headphones – Gas and Matches (9) Neutral Milk Hotel – Communist Daughter (10) Illinois – Headphones (11) The One A.M. Radio (Wind Up Bird Cover) – Wheat and Chaff (12) Kind of Like Spitting – Worker Bee #7438 – F87904 (13) Panda & Angel – China (14) Foot Foot – Hysterical

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He Don’t Love Driving a Bus
March 16, 2008, 5:31 am
Filed under: Writing

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For thirty six years and nine months, my father – Alfred Gerhardt Brausch – sold assorted fruit drinks and overpriced, low quality beef hotdogs at the Vienna international airport (Flughafen Wien-Schwechat, if it matters). Through the modernizations and the cosmopolitan expansion of living, he would stand in the simmering white cloud of Halle C with a smile that almost certainly belied his inner dealings. But always, he would say: I love my job. It is who I am. And the people, his customers, they would come and go and come and go.



ummm
March 16, 2008, 12:42 am
Filed under: Beef | Tags: , ,

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Volume 2 – 1:10:58
March 15, 2008, 5:19 pm
Filed under: Music | Tags: , , , ,

Mostly screamo and french skram, this mixtape also features Japan’s criminally underrated 1000 Travels of Jawaharlal and obvious classics from bands like The Funeral Diner, Orchid, and Joshua Fit For Battle.

(1) The Funeral Diner – Collapsing (2) Heaven in Her Arms – Filled Up with a Bruise (3) The Birthday Boyz – II (4) Pg. 99 – Del Emundo Ileno De Mocio (5) Amen Ra – Promise (6) Joshua Fit for Battle – Classic Song (7) 1000 Travels of Jawaharlal – On the Highway Midnight (8 ) Sed Non Satiata – Pessimiste, Toi Aussi Saisis Ton Reve (9) Lion of the North – I Am Orion (10) Usurp Synapse – Maybe You Should Kill Yourself (11) Aussitot Mort – Le Desespoir Des Singes (12) Hot Cross – Putting the Past Right (13) Spirit of Versailles – Everything Else Comes Second (14) You and I – Threading a Needle (15) Orchid – And the Cat Turned to Smoke (16) Portrait – Summer Solstice (17) Bella Epoque – Il Est Trop Tard (18 ) Gantz – Les Premices Du Beton (19) Raein – Tigersuit

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